dukehunt

Post #41- Why I'm scared.

2004-12-15T11:44:00.000-05:00

I have a hard time believing in love at first sight at this age. There is always someone catching my eye but I prefer substance over looks any day. The older I get the more I'm aware of what I want and don't want. I'm too old for games and too young for the couch potato. Most of the population is eliminated by marriage or too much baggage. I'm sure there are great people out there who feel like I do but they are too few and far between.

The atmosphere...Picture a room full of lost, empty, shallow, desperate people making complete asses out of themselves hoping to hook up with someone that just might fall madly in love with the fact that they have no morals, self respect or dignity of any kind! Doesn't it sound enticing?

I'm always being told I will find someone to love when I least expect it. I shouldn't have a problem at this point. The truth is I denied for years that I needed to be with anyone. Tough, independent, self-sufficient but unavoidably human. Forgot that part!

Final

2004-12-15T09:42:00.000-05:00

Eight feet in the air and only seconds to get it right, I had no choice but to land the jetski upright. A seemingly endless moment where fearless youth and harsh reality compete, youth prevailed and I brought her down. White knuckles, blistered thumbs, a pounding heart, and a pissed passenger; I let off the throttle and welcomed the purr of her unprovoked motor. The "animal" owned by many but tamed only by a few required concentration, stability and absolute fearlessness.

Few things in life give me more of a rush than the wind whipping past my face at excessive rates of speed. Combine that intense feeling with an almost naked body, a hot tan, and the rush of cold water smacking your skin and you've found an uncertain glory in the world of jetski racing. In all that glory lurks numerous distractions. There are no yellow lines to divide you from the other "skiers". Even in reduced speeds, you need to be on constant watch. There is no test to pass to wrap your legs around this monster machine. Inexperience doesn't have to be yours to meet someone head on. Turning for that split second to check out the half dressed person who just passed you is the true test of concentration and without a doubt, the most challenging.

There is the law of "wake jumping". Someone decided they owned the waves left behind their speeding boat and took away our right to mess them up. Tell a person on a jetski they can't jump a wake is like telling Hugh Hefner he can't cop a feel. Something doesn't seem right about that. Ignoring the "road signs", we took every opportunity to jump. Depending on the size and speed of the boat you could find yourself flying in the air as much as ten feet. This wasn't something you did with your eyes closed. Knees squeezed tight, body low and all the stability you could muster meant the difference between a good landing and a full body enema.

There is something magical about believing you can live forever. The gift of ignorance and the joy of youth can make you do some crazy things. Pushing a 750 jetski to its speed limit and turning the handles at full throttle was without a doubt completely, insanely fun! Submerging the machine and your body up to your waist then catapulting out of the water like a cork from a champagne bottle was a rush beyond words. A move I owned proudly was the trademark of a fearless skier.

Ten years later I sit on the dock of Greenlake watching the skiers zoom by and I find myself disappointed not to see a "water dig" or "wake jump". I listen to the retired camp owners complain about the noise and the recklessness of todays youth and I imagine just for a few moments what it would be like to go back.

Post #40-I'm scared

2004-12-12T01:15:00.000-05:00

I haven't been out in almost a year. I'm not much for bars or nightclubs. It's just not me but I was bored so I ventured out. I'm truly scared by the entire atmosphere. What is this world coming to? I hated it. It was like being in hell only worse. I honestly felt scared. I'm single and I honestly don't think I am going to find anyone who comes close to having any substance. if you have found someone you love and you doubt they are everything you need, think twice about that. Chances are you have found the right one. It gets worse as I get older. I am a loyal, honest, forthright, caring person yet I haven't found that cerain someone. I honestly don't think I will. That's sad!

Required Post #39-Exhale

2004-12-08T22:29:00.000-05:00

I've been living outside of myself the past few weeks. I feel like I've been a stranger in my own skin. It's nothing crazy. I just haven't wanted to be in the moment. I have distanced myself from a lot of things. School wasn't one of them but I AM looking forward to the break. I think I'm headed for a road trip. Tennessee most likely. I have some great friends there. I feel like I need to exhale. Time for bed!

Blogs visited #9

2004-12-08T09:36:00.000-05:00

http://wwwaboutme.blogspot.com
http://xxmadiesxx.blogspot.com

Blogs visited #8

2004-12-08T09:34:00.000-05:00

http://jcherweg.blogspot.com
http://learnaboutmike.blogspot.com

Required Post #38- My Grade

2004-12-06T10:03:00.000-05:00

I always read your website. You're sarcastic and witty so it's welcomed reading. I'm floored by people getting even slightly pissed that they can't make up work that they haven't done for three months. Your expectations don't exceed reason. From day one, you let us know we are responsible for our work. What more could anyone want? I was talking to a former student (one of the pissed off ones) and he was mad because you sent him notice he was failing your class. I asked him if he had been doing his blog, if his essays were done etc. No, No and No! Okay, "What would you expect him to do?" I asked if he had talked to you about it. Again, No! "You haven't been to any classes, done any assignments, talked to him about possibly making up the work (this was weeks ago) and you're pissed he is failing you?" ... Obviously, not your problem he's lazy, inconsiderate and assuming. At the end of the conversation, it was obvious what I thought about him and he ended by saying, "I have nothing against him, I just wish he would have said something to me." He still didn't get it. Some never do.

I can honestly say there is only one professor I haven't exactly "enjoyed" but I think he will come around with experience. I consider myself a generic, mushy writer. I like to write but don't put myself in situations where writing is uncomfortable. You knocked me around a couple of times, and shook some writing sense into me. I give you a definite passing grade both as a teacher and a human being. It truly has been a pleasure being in your class!

I'm sorry I don't have some seriously intense bitching for you. Something tells me you won't get much of that.

Required Post #37-It's over

2004-12-03T09:57:00.000-05:00

I get to keep my dogs! I have been in mediation for 6 months with an old boyfriend. I won't get into all the boring details. When I ended this relationship, both dogs were already living with me. He never wanted the dogs. In fact, he hated them. He complained constantly because they were "too much work."

I understand that labs aren't for everyone. They are hyper, need constant attention, and can be extremely irritating for someone with limited patience. Gary had zero patience. Duke is my black lab. He is 110lbs of pure muscle. We were horsing around one evening. Gary didn't like the dogs in the house so I waited for him to go to work. The second he drove out of the driveway, I opened the gait. They sprang into the house like horses jacked on steroids. Well...I was hot from grappling with the dogs so I cracked a heinekin and plopped my butt in the recliner. Just as I leaned back, in one leap, Duke jumped from one end of the den directly into my lap. The beer hit my lip, went up my nose and all over me and the recliner. My lip was swollen, I was wet but not the least bit mad. How could I be? This big knucklehead of a dog was licking the beer off my face. He was just happy to be up there with me and I was happy to have him.

It's finally over. Six months of unecessary stress and $6000.00 dollars later, I am the official sole owner of Duke and Hunter. Gary thinks he somehow won because I had to pay for a lawyer and forfeit a large portion of the proceeds from the sale of our home. What he doesn't know is I would have given up everything if there was truly a chance I could have lost them. There are more important things in life than money. I couldn't see spending the next six months worrying. It wasn't worth it and neither was he.

Required Post #36-Let's pretend.

2004-11-30T20:19:00.000-05:00

Let's pretend we are in a Jim Carey movie and we can never lie. Go a few steps further. We can't be mean, material things don't exist, we can't make someone cry...you get the idea.

Give me a break tonight. I know the world would be boring, not challenging enough etc. but we're pretending. I'd like a few minutes of that.

So I'm in this perfect world. I sleep through the night. I wake up at 5am and drink my coffee without rushing. I drive to school without being tailgated. I go to work and find there is nothing for me to do. I actually have time for homework. I head home with no traffic. I feel great! I fall asleep and don't dream.

Reality may not be boring but sometimes it exists a little more than I want.

Signing off a little pissed at the world.

Required Post #35-Don't spin this one!

2004-11-30T19:43:00.000-05:00

One of my favorite classes is Sociology. I love the topic, the professor is extremely unique, interesting, and fun. Great! There is one person in class I try to have a lot of patience for but she truly sucks the life out of me. She has something to say about EVERYTHING and I DO mean everything! It's never a quick comment. Short of living in a bubble, I'm not sure how one person can have so many black and white, narrow minded and just plain ignorant views. The young man that sits beside me says it's because she's Mormon. I know a handful of Mormons and they are truly cool, disciplined people. I try not to generalize in any one direction so I'll just rack it up to my problem. Here's the most recent example...

Last Thursday we did this really great excercise where the professor had the women leave the room and he had the men finish the sentence, "Women are...". I knew this in advance so for fun while sitting in the writing lab, we got the chalkboard out and had some fun. LISTEN UP! I love men! They make extremely great friends. They aren't back stabbers. I actually prefer their company over women but I just ended a relationship with someone that wasn't exactly honest (enough info). I wasn't in the mood to be overly generous with my commments. IT WAS IN COMPLETE JEST that ALL of us women poked fun at men. I assure you, had we known Ed was going to take the men down to the writing lab to see the board, we would have been a lot nicer. It wasn't that bad but it could have been nicer. OK so here's how the story ends...

The professor made a comment about what each gender wrote and the woman that drives me nuts spoke up (imagine that!) She had the nerve to say, "Ed, I just want you to know that what was written on the board (in her writing) was not my views of men". "I was simply writing down what one person (me) was saying." At that very moment, nearly every girl in the class turned, looked at me and rolled their eyes. They were as shocked as I was. EVERY single girl had something to say about men. I was NOT the only one. This woman resents me because I do have a hard time sitting back while she condescends black priviledges of any kind, gay teachers, and people (like my grandmother) who sued a drug company for killing my grandfather with drugs they KNEW weren't safe. It truly takes a lot for me to boil but I'm there.

I went to work, to the gym, back home, worked out more, put my roller blades on rolled around the garage, feeling like shit and here I am still just a little irritated. Get over it right? Not that big of a deal I know. Today is just one of those days where I don't feel like turning the other cheek, smiling, giving someone a break, being the bigger person and all that other shit I feel so obligated to do!!!!!!!!!!!

2004-11-30T10:12:00.000-05:00

Without any notice, she licked her finger and rubbed it over my eyelid. "That's too much makeup for a little girl." Her name was Ometa Murray and I was her housekeeper. She was a pushy, lonely but very sweet old lady. I needed school clothes and Ometa needed someone to talk to. I was a thirteen and this was my first job. Spending Saturday mornings cleaning for an old woman and her terminally ill husband was not high on my priority list. Who would have thought such a thorn in my side could have taught me so much about patience, respect and the age of friendship.

Ometa was a small woman with soft, wavy, white hair, squinty eyes and a motorized mouth that had an endless supply of fuel. I was a lot of things growing up but lazy wasn't one of them. When I was given something to do, I did it immediately. Not at Ometa's. My first responsibility was not dusting or doing dishes, it was sitting at the table drinking a hot cup of cocoa while Ometa talked endlessly. The first few times I thought I would die from boredom. One morning everything changed. I was shocked to see a pathetically weak, old man shuffling to the bathroom. Ometa never mentioned him so I assumed she lived alone. She helped him to the bathroom and returned with a sad look on her face. Ometa told me it was her husband and that he was dieing. We didn't talk long about it. She said enough for me to realize just why it seemed so important to her we sit and talk before I started work. Ometa had no family. She was alone. Each morning after that, I found the patience to sit and listen to her talk and after awhile, I began to enjoy it.

Patience wasn't the only thing I learned working from Ometa. One morning I wasn't feeling all that great. I decided that I wasn't going to work that day so I rolled over and slept a few more hours. The next weekend when I showed up for work, I wasn't met with a cup of hot cocoa. Ometa wouldn't talk to me. I thought maybe something happened with her husband so I kept to myself and finished up my responsibilities. Just before leaving, Ometa asked me to sit down. She told me she was very disappointed in me. At that point, I had no idea what I had done to upset her. She told me that she relied on me for help around her house and that if I wasn't going to show up for work, I needed to call and let her know. She said it was disrespectful for me to assume that I was there simply to get paid. I remember feeling completely sad that she thought so poorly of me. I wasn't going to make that same mistake twice.

Respect has its priviledges. Saturdays with Ometa didn't seem like a job anymore. We talked a lot. She continued to critique my appearnce and soon we were comfortable enough to start poking fun at each other. I still remember her laughing to the point of tears when I looked at her very seriously and said, "Ometa I think you have maggots in your salt shaker." I had no idea it was to keep the moisture out. Eventually, I started to look forward to my mornings with Ometa. She was truly one of my best friends.

My mother used to say, "Enjoy your life because it gets more complicated as you get older." She wasn't lieing. It seems we reach a point in our lives when we stop making friends. Maybe people become jaded, too busy or they're simply happy with the way their life is. I guess I miss the innocence of friendships formed when two people meet with no expectations and find everything they could ever imagine exists in that one true friend.

Required Post-#34 On a little lighter note.

2004-11-27T18:00:00.000-05:00

My youngest neice is two. At dinner last night I wasn't feeling well. She was sitting diagonal from me. Everyone was talking but I was being unusually quiet. At one point my eyes watered a little. Just as I got a napkin, Madison got out of her chair and walked over to me. She said. "You're OK Auntie Dar". WOW! It's amazing what kids will pick up on.

Required Post-#33 Really sick of it.

2004-11-27T17:38:00.000-05:00

I guess you'll never know!

I typed a pretty decent size blog...mostly venting. I went for a drive then decided to delete it. I hate to whine!

Required Post-#32 Let the shopping begin!

2004-11-26T20:46:00.000-05:00

I love everything about Christmas except the shopping and the shoppers. I was meeting my sister at Olan Mills. She was late as usual so I decided to take a walk to KMart. NOT FUN! I was just killing time. I am so annoyed by slow shoppers. The people that walk like they are the only ones on the planet! I was standing in line to pay for something small. There were two women in front of me. The woman directly in front of me was an older lady. She was about 75. The woman in front of her only had a few items. Everything was fine until the woman with the few items asked me and the older lady to move so her husband could get his cart in. He pulled up with a cart full of soda and other really horrible crap. I thought it was rude. It got worse when they pretty much pushed the old lady out of the way and then didn't try to help her move her cart. People are so inconsiderate. The woman was yelling at her husband. He apparently couldn't do anything right. It was truly a nightmare and it's only just begun.

Blogs visited #7

2004-11-22T09:58:00.000-05:00

http://musclesdailyblog.blogspot.com
http://Corpralpunishement.blogspot.com

Blogs Visited #6

2004-11-22T09:56:00.000-05:00

Videogirl45-Very unusual!
http://josephvinar.blogspot.com

Required Post #31-Moving right along

2004-11-21T21:24:00.000-05:00

Have you ever gone out with someone for any length of time and wondered if it was something you should be doing? WOMEN WHO RUN WITH WOLVES. I think that's the name of the book I read almost ten years ago. It's about women and their insticts and how we've been taught to ignore them. I shouldn't have ignored mine. Six months led up to what I suspected all along...he wasn't right for me. I don't consider myself stupid. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. No one can be that bad! Boy was I wrong.

Moving right along. That's how it works. I've never felt like I needed a man but I enjoy their company so much more than most women. Some reasons are more obvious than others...don't let your mind wonder too far!

Well I'm back in the "I have someone I want you to meet game." It started today. It's a little annoying but references are better than not.

That's my take on things!

Required Post #30-Thanksgiving and Family

2004-11-21T20:54:00.000-05:00

My absolute favorite holiday is Thanksgiving. This year we are having it at my sisters house. There will be approximately 21 people there. I love watching a flurry of women whipping, beating, molding, talking, swearing and (in my house) drinking as they prepare what everyone thinks is their best recipe. Each one snagging a bite when the other isn't looking. My sister's mother-in-law turning up her nose at my mother's cooking and my mother gushing over how good her's is only to turn to me and say it tastes like the bottom of someone's shoe. The men sitting in the living room talking about the "19 point buck" that got away. At times being helpful just to escape the guilt of leaving after the meal for the big dear hunt or is it "testosterone hunt"? Waylon Jennings,Bruce Springsteen and Britney Spears shuffling in the stereo, beer outside on the deck because there's no room in the refrigerator. Cousins chasing cousins while my sisters screams. (How dare they enjoy themselves!)Yep a good ole fashion redneck Thanksgiving. We're a little bit country, a little bit rock and roll, we got a little bit of mash potato up our nose and a little bit of ho down in our soul...something like that!

I've invited people to my house who, for one reason or another are spending Thanksgiving alone. The first question is "Are you guys italian"? The next question is, "Can I come back next year"? It's a lot of noise but a lot of love and our tradition is non-traditional. That's the way I like it!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Required Post #29- The Point of Power

2004-11-21T20:46:00.000-05:00

The point of power is always in the present. You are NEVER stuck. This is where changes take place, right here and right now in our own minds!

There is nothing that irritates me more than someone who thinks the world is out to get them. Not naming names but one person in particular whom I met recently bugs the living
%$#@ out of me. He's always talking about how the world sucks and he never has this and that because he isn't given the same chances and everyone expects him to conform...blah, blah, blah. He complains because he doesn't have money for certain things yet he talks about getting drunk and high every weekend. That's not cheap! He talks about not having more hours at work yet he sleeps in and calls in sick. VICTIM! Not even close.

I can think of several things in my life that I could hate the world for but what's the point? Look at Christpher Reeves. He kept going when the only thing in his future existed inside his head. Now that's power!

Required Post-#28- At Your Request

2004-11-21T20:28:00.000-05:00

I received a post suggesting I write a little about what I am reading in the book YOU CAN HEAL YOUR LIFE. "Is is true for me now?" I read this in the book and it stood out for me. There are things I have defended in the past just because it was what I always believed but not really because I had given it any recent thought. Have you ever done that?

Required Post #27-You Can Heal Your Life

2004-11-14T09:47:00.000-05:00

I'm not big on self help books. The majority of them say the same things and you only benefit if you are willing to receive the information. School, work, my dogs and my health consume most of my time but I found a book that I have decided to make room for. It is titled YOU CAN HEAL YOUR LIFE. It isn't for someone who is comfortable playing a victim. It is about "how our thoughts and the words we speak create our experiences. It makes you almost entirely responsible for what you think, feel and the actions you take. The most powerful yet simple thing I read was that "whatever we believe becomes true for us"...we can create a reality that is better than the one we are in just by believing in something different...something better. It's possible.

Required Post #26-A cold breeze

2004-11-11T17:23:00.000-05:00

I sat on my sister's dock today. A normally busy lake now quiet and motionless was the perfect canvas for a little positive thinking. Sitting there made me feel so small. I felt like the only person on earth. At first I was kind of sad then I thought about other times in my life when I wasn't sure I would be able to handle things. I've made it through some tough situations in my life. I'll make it through this one. I'm too stubborn to have it any other way!

Required Post #26-The Worlds Best Chicken!

2004-11-11T17:14:00.000-05:00

There is nothing in this world better than my mothers fried chicken. I don't normally eat fried food but I eat like a pig when she makes it. I'm blogging from her house. I've got something going on tomorrow that could prove serious. She is trying to make me feel better. You wouldn't think food could make a difference but you'd understand if you had the chance to taste her cooking. I'm not going to try and describe it...Words would not give it justice!

Process Essay

2004-11-08T09:49:00.000-05:00

Ahhh...Silence with a twist of the lock, it's mine. Removed from a world of interstate, fumes, frustrated, hurried people, I find my quiet peace. Sinking slowly water hits the bottom of my lip, returning to my original beginnings I am lost in the warm liquid that surrounds me. Taking a bath is not wasted on the simple act of cleansing the body. For me, there is no greater place to cleanse the mind.

Click...A sound that invites comfort and begins the ritual I call my "quiet time". Removing my bathing basket from the closet, I carefully place the needed supplies on the sink. First. I choose my music. Jazz, Nat King Cole, Sinatra or Classical are slight variations to a calming effect. Unforgettable, that's who he is. Nat King Cole's low, smooth voice begins my journey slowly the world outside starts to disappear.

With the music setting the mood, I then begin by creating a peaceful atmosphere. Candles placed on each corner of the tub reflect enough light on the water to add a gentle glow. A musk scented candle permeates the air replacing the corrosion filled scents of an industrialized world. I pause momentarily to absorb my surroundings. Everything is perfect.

The gentle sound, soft lights and clean scents envelope me. I feel myself loosing all sense of skeleton. Finally, choosing the correct temperature the bath begins to fill. Exfoliating salts poured beneath the spout provide a clear path to submersion. Gently testing the water with my toes, I cautiously sink into the tub. Covered by a wet blanket I snuggle into myself. Eyes closed my senses bound only by pleasure, I am lost not looking for a way home.

Drip, drip, drip...At the end of my CD a normally irritating sound replaces empty thought. Nudged back into reality, I stick my toe into the faucet and resist.

Required Post #25- Truck incentives ZZZZ...

2004-11-02T19:04:00.000-05:00

Today I had the luxury of being the passenger in a some trucks that my boyfriend test drove. There are few things in life that bore me more than talking about cars, the cost and whether or not the suspension is good. Doug (my boyfriend) gets so involved in whatever he does. He can take the most boring subject and suck you in with his enthusiasm. He's good to have around...Especially during election time.

Blogs visited #5

2004-11-02T19:03:00.000-05:00

http://shawnawatson.blogspot.com
http://jblazon19.blogspot.com

Blogs visited #4

2004-11-02T19:02:00.000-05:00

http://beaubedore.blogspot.com
http://tejameson.blogspot.com

Required Post #24-Rise and Shine!

2004-11-02T09:57:00.000-05:00

There's nothing I hate to hear more than "rise and shine". I never went to bed early when I was in highschool. I liked to watch Johnny Carson and David Letterman so it was rare I was asleep before 1am. My mother sent us to our room at 9. We weren't supposed to stay up past 10. I put the TV on really low, sit in front of it and click it off quick if I heard her coming up the stairs.

We only had 1 bathroom and there were four of us children so I always got up first. I liked not having to rush. This meant that on average I got 5 hours sleep a night. "Rise and shine". That's what my mother would say every morning when she woke me up. I still cringe when I hear someone say it.

It's funny how the things that annoy you about people you love are the things you miss most when they are gone. My mother is still with us but I don't see her as much as I would like to. Sometimes when I am walking my dogs or just sitting out on the deck at night, I think about her. I'm amazed at our relationship. We couldn't get along for twenty years and now I can't picture my life without her.

...I think too much!

Required Post #23-Do I eat it?

2004-11-01T10:49:00.000-05:00

Any suggestions on what to do with 5lbs of Halloween candy? I had three trick or treaters. I have inside out reeses peanut butter cups, smores bars, hersheys with almonds, butterfingers and sugar babys. It's too much of a temptation at home. Any takers?

Required post #22-Getting locked out!

2004-11-01T10:23:00.000-05:00

I've been locked out of my house, apartment and car more times than I care too admit. Last week was the first time I had ever been locked out of a class. I spent last weekend in the hospital. Unfortunately, I didn't make it to class last Monday. I missed Anatomy and Physiciology and English. It's the first time I missed A&P.

I came to school to learn something. I'm working fulltime and paying for school myself so I take this pretty seriously. Certainly a lot more than I did when I was 18. I don't have to work before A&P so I'm never late for that class. Long story even longer, I missed the A&P class where he was going to lock the door and not let any late students in. I was in the library typing up something for the class. It could have been hand written but my writing wasn't great so I thought I'd make it easy on his eyes. I was about 5-10 minutes late. I knocked on the door several times but he wouldn't let me in. I went to my advisor across the hall. She informed me he was not going to let late students in...I was advised to stay in bed and rest for a few days but I decided I needed to be in school (busy). I show up to be locked out. I wasn't happy!

I went to see a teacher named Jeff who advised me to talk to my professor before dropping the class (I was that upset). I waited an hour and a half in the hall. I asked to have a few minutes of his time. He was reluctant at first but seeing how upset I was, agreed. He told me he was frustrated because students hadn't been showing up for class. I got stuck in the middle and he apologized.

I remember the first time I became a manager. I had the title so I must have known what I was doing. Wrong! It took 2 years before I could actually say that. I learned you can't treat all people the same and you certainly don't always get the same respect you give. Once you figure that the only hope you really have is leading a few horses to water. Those that don't choose to follow...

I'm not sure what the professor was trying to accomplish. I know it must be frustrating to prepare and it seem so few don't care but what about those that do.?Are there too many performance expectations put on teachers? Does ego play a part? I don't know his reasons. I just hope he finds a different approach.

Required Post #21- Curve ball

2004-11-01T10:12:00.000-05:00

If life were a baseball game mine would hold the record in curve balls thrown. I like to look on the bright side of things. It isn't always easy, it annoys some people and at times it may even be a little unrealistic. I don't know...one too many curve balls this time. Life isn't going as I planned. I guess that's supposed to be part of the allure. Stay positive...yeah that's what I'll do. What else is there when life is anything but positive? School, deadlines, waiting in line-all of it seems so foolish to me. Live in the moment. I'll stick with that plan for now...it's the only thing we can ever be sure of!

Classification Response

2004-10-29T10:17:00.000-04:00

I'm not sure why but I found this essay to be the most difficult to write. When I picked my first topic which was women(bitches), I knew it was cliche but I was sure I could put a different spin to it. I couldn't. A bitch is a bitch. Venturing into an unexplored topic (at least verbally) made me think. Anything that makes you think has to be beneficial...Right...

Required Blog #21-Foot In Mouth

2004-10-22T10:38:00.000-04:00

OK! Today would be one of thos damn days where you wish you could have shoved your foot in your mouth before you opened it! I just asked a very attractive woman who doesn't appear to be over 40 if the children she was with were her grandchildren. I feel like a total ass. The more I tried to dig myself out of it, the deeper I got. What the hell was I thinking!

Blogs Visited #3

2004-10-20T09:50:00.000-04:00

http://kspofford.blogspot.com
http://biggolblogger.blogspot.com

Wow! It amazes me what people will write about and how strong some opinions can be.

Required Post #20-He's right!

2004-10-20T08:53:00.000-04:00

I wrote my classification essay which took a lot longer than it should. I read it and it bored me to tears. I tried everything I knew how to give it life but nothing worked. I missed class Monday due to a doctors appointment so I went on line to see if I missed anything. I read the summary of our classification essay assignment and he was right! I was trying to give life to something that was already dead. I'm going to re-write my essay. It won't be about fleas but hopefully it will be a topic that is as different.

Blogs Visited #2

2004-10-15T15:14:00.000-04:00

http://ballplaya.blogspot.com
http://ptotheh00.blogspot.com

Classification Intro #2

2004-10-15T09:21:00.000-04:00

What does a mother and babysitter have in common with the manager of a doctor's office? They all require the same skills needed to manage a group of eleven women. This was my job for 374,400 painstaking minutes. Like most mothers and babysitters, I had my good "children" but there was little time to appreciate them. I had the moody, unhappy and just plain evil little "brats" that required the majority of my attention.

Classification Intro #1

2004-10-15T08:43:00.000-04:00

Smile, shake your head like you understand then go into your office and squeeze the hell out of your stress ball. This was a daily occurrence for me not too long ago. A ten year career of long hours, hard work and complete dedication ended when I, a woman, had the unfortunate circumstance of experiencing every mans hell. I spent approximately 374,400 minutes (22,464,000 seconds) managing eleven women in a doctors office. The title of Manager was quickly replaced with babysitter, mommy and in some cases referee. I worked with some amazing women but there was little time to appreciate them. I had the premenstrual, unhappy, evil bitches that required the majority of my attention.

Required Post 19-Do Butterflies Still Exist?

2004-10-12T15:05:00.000-04:00

I remember feeling like a swarm of monarchs invaded my stomach the first time I kissed a boy. Did butterflies only exist when we were young and foolish? Did they exist because our outlook wasn't tainted? Were we too naive to know any better? Are butterflies part of the fantasy? Is the truth stuck somewhere between reality and the front of my car grill? I was just curious.

Comment-I Search

2004-10-12T09:59:00.000-04:00

I am doing my I Search on a very personal topic. I have had mixed feelings from friends, members of my family and John. Why do I want to open old wounds? Why don't I write about learning to play the guitar instead? Do you really want to share such personal things with a stranger?

Everyone has had the feeling one time or another where it seemed like something was just meant to be. I would never have imagined writing about my subject but the moment John said "I Search", it was the first thing that came to my mind. The obvious concern is that I might unearth some intense feelings. The truth is I have found a strange peace in writing what little I have so far. Somehow just seeing the words on paper...

There are no wounds to re-open just some avoided questions and a few old scars I thought I should finally get to know.

Internet Search Assignment

2004-10-08T10:34:00.000-04:00

The only real research I've done on the internet has been for my family. My sisters hate computers so they usually corner me for information. The most recent research I did was regarding invetro fertilization. (sp?) My younger sister is going through this process. It's obviously better to go into medical sites and not facilities offering this service. They tend to glorify information. You also have to be careful of drug companies who put up sites that are sponsored by their product. That always annoys me.

I recently did some history research on Thomas Edison. I went under three different sites, printed off the information and found all three were similar but dates, numbers, and locations were slightly off.

All in all, it's nice to be able to find just about anything you need by punching in one word. You just have to use common sense when selecting what information to use.

Classification Essay Response

2004-10-08T10:22:00.000-04:00

I read all the classification essays. I especially liked the essay regarding sports fans. I was right there with her. I'm not one of those girls that ever pretended to like sports to impress a guy. I absolutely hate sports commentator voices. Anyway, I think I get the whole classification thing. I prefer reading essays that aren't "uniform" but with good description I stay interested. It's nice to read something that is intended to be structured and is but it is approached subtly. I think road essay accomplished that.

Required Post 18-Clutter Envy

2004-10-08T09:54:00.000-04:00

I completely envy people who can live among clutter. I used to think the sign of a slightly imbalanced person was a messy house. Now that I'm older, I've learned the opposite is most often true. Having a clean, tidy, "white" room lacks only rubber walls to fit the personality of obsessively clean people. I'm not talking about people with diagnosed mental disorders. I'm talking about the people who care too much about their things.

I was having a conversation with the cable guy the other day. I asked how often he went into houses that made his skin crawl. He told me some pretty gruesome stories but surprisingly his worst experience was with Mr. and Mrs. "Neat". He told me about a couple that followed him through the house vacuuming behind him. They got upset when he said he had to drill a hole in their wall (behind the computer). I'm not "over the top clean". You can rearrange my coasters without me going of the deep end but I have a hard time thinking when everything is in shambles. So I guess you could say, I walk the line.

I'm not sure why but I'm drawn to messy people. I like their carefree attitude. Like a cat in a clean litter box if there's a space, they'll find it! That's kind of cool. I pretend sometimes that I'm not bound by structure. I kick my shoes across the room, toss my socks in the air, throw my bra on the vanity and leave my pants lying on the floor. When I feel like living on the edge, I let them stay there until the next morning...OK, some lines are thinner than others!

Blogs visited #1

2004-10-08T08:39:00.000-04:00

http://jcherweg.blogspot.com
http://barkerswritingworks.blogspot.com
http://thecounty.blogspot.com
Ron K's site-forgot to write address.

Required Post 17-History

2004-10-06T15:08:00.000-04:00

I have always watched the news but have never cared for politics. I listened to what I thought was important and pretty much ignored the things I didn't understand. I am taking US History. Most people cringe at the thought but I love it. I never imagined how it would change my view of politics. I still think most politicians are crooks. The difference is, I can defend my belief a lot better now. It helps when you have a professor who knows his stuff. History is a tough subject to teach but it's definitely his niche.

Required Post 16-Am I alone?

2004-10-04T10:31:00.000-04:00

I'm frustrated but it has nothing to do with the assignment. I don't know how to relax when I write. Is this common? I feel like it has to be perfect. The moment the paper leaves my hand and enters Johns, I'm doubting every word I've typed. I spend forever on a sentence. Writer's anxiety????

5 Paragraph Essay

2004-09-29T10:18:00.000-04:00

The slow creek of a tethered door still echoes in my mind. Molasses cookies freshly baked waiting for the grasp of innocent hands. Hundreds of family pictures adorn every inch of wall space. A multi-colored afghan with the smell of mothballs draped over the back of the couch. Sitting beside my Great Grandmother while she played the piano anxiously waiting for her hands to lead mine. Spending time at my Great Grandparents taught me three very important things. It taught me the patience, kindness and the gentleness of love.

I couldn't take my coat off fast enough. "You know where Grandmother keeps the cookies"! I remember the rush of adrenaline pulling the iron door down to peer inside the old cook stove. Pinwheels, molasses, Oreos, and oatmeal raisin cookies just to name a few but three was the majic number. Down on our knees my brother, sisters and I would paw through the tinfoil, plastic container and boxes. A serious decision which required great thought. Fortunately, crumbs were fair gaime and tasting made the choice a little easier. There, sitting patiently at the kitchen table directing us towards another 0pening in the cook stove, sat my Great Grandmother. It didn't matter how long it took for us to find those three perfect cookies. She was in it for the long haul and with four kids it usually was.

Patience is a virtue but kindness is the foundation. "Come sit beside Great Grandmother". "I don't get to see that pretty face enough". "I've missed you dear". My heart warmed with those words. "Grandmother, will you show me how to play the piano"? "Of course dear". There wasn't anything she wouldn't do for us. To her, being kind was just part of the job but to me, it meant the world.

Patient and kind is a storybook description of most grandparents but love always has its own meaning. There was always a race to be the first to sit beside him on the bed. "There, there darlin". "Granpa loves you darlin". I can still feel his weathered hand stroking my face. His eyes swallowed you with love, his voice soft, weak and soothing. Eventually we would all make it to the living room this time fighting to sit next to Great Grandmother. Mothballs, a normally offensive smell seemed comforting coming from her hug. There was something magical about the love of my Great Granparents...a magic as real today as it was thirty years ago.

Curled up on the couch with an afghan pulled up around my neck, I stare at all the family pictures hanging on my wall. There are so many things in life we take for granted, I look at my niece's pictures and wonder if they too will grow up with comforting memories of quieter times. Will they see the magic in me that I was blessed to have seen in two, gentle, old souls?

I Search Comments

2004-09-27T16:37:00.000-04:00

I have to admit, I commented on 5 paragraph essays instead of the assigned I search comments. (I didn't delete it but spared you having to read it and kept it as draft) None-the-less, I did have a chance to do it this afternoon.

I read the I search regarding weight loss. Can it be done in questions format? I didn't read how much she exercised. It seemed relevant to the big picture. I also read the sad story about the Grandmother whose granddaughter has Biliary Atresia. Very nicely written. It was touching, well thought out and informative. I'm glad she lived but sad she has the struggles ahead of her. Becoming a better dad was interesting. Few men allow themselves that much exploration into emotions etc. I would have given him an A just for heading in that direction! Buying a truck was a tortuous I search. Bored me to death but I then you would expect that from most women.

5 Paragraph essay- Outro

2004-09-27T09:14:00.000-04:00

Curled up on the couch with an afghan pulled up around my neck I stare at all the family pictures on my wall. There are so many things in life we take for granted. I look at my nieces and wonder if they too will grow up with comforting memories of quieter times. Love teaches us many things. I learned most about love from the patience and wisdom of two old, gentle souls. Fortunately, I was blessed being able to know the Great in Grandparents had little to do with the order of the family tree.

Required Post 15-A quick fix

2004-09-24T09:30:00.000-04:00

I have an extremely hard time with the amount of kids being prescribed depression and anxiety medication these days. Instead of spending more time parenting, everyone is looking for the easy way out. Twenty years ago kids were given chores, put on restriction and made to do their homework. Today nurturing is replaced with television, video games and when that doesn't work, Ritalin! What's the answer? I'm sure it's different with everyone but I know when I take my nieces on sea shell hunts and for walks in the forest they can go to bed and dream about mermaids and mystical tree trolls not killing people with guns or running them over with cars.

5 Paragraph intro #2

2004-09-24T09:12:00.000-04:00

I can still hear the creek of the screen door slamming behind me and the explosive scent of molasses cookies baking. Mothballs, a normally offensive smell seemed comforting coming from the hug of my Great Grandmother. I rewind the vision of my Great Grandfather rising slowly from his bed to stroke my face. "There, there darlin". "Grandpa loves you darlin". Words forever etched in my mind. Spending time with my Great Grandparents taught me three very important things. It taught me kindness, patience and the gentleness of love.

Required Post 14-What is fighting?

2004-09-23T16:43:00.000-04:00

Is fighting really ever worth it? I can't remember the last time I got into an argument and felt like it accomplished anything. We fight to make a point? Are we ever receptive to name calling or intense hand gestures? When was the last time someone got in your face and it suddenly occurred to you how wrong you were? My favorite, "We weren't fighting, we were having a disagreement". Some fight for control, others fight to be right but no one fights to be understood. Who understands that kind of communication?

Required Post 13-Dating

2004-09-23T16:35:00.000-04:00

Dating is my least favorite thing to do. I feel like I'm in the middle of the interstate during a snowstorm dressed like a deer. There's nothing pleasant about crossing the road but you know it's a necessary part of nature. Wouldn't life be a little simpler if all the good stuff were on the right side of the road? Wishful thinking!

Required Post 12-There are times

2004-09-23T16:15:00.000-04:00

There are times when I want to shake some people. We watched a hate video in Sociology class today. I knew I wouldn't like it but I wasn't prepared for how much it disturbed me. I especially wasn't prepared for the reaction of a couple of people during and after the video. Ed, the professor, obviously concerned about offending an African American girl in our class carefully explained the purpose of the video. Part of the video showed a game created by white supremacy. The object of the game was to kill the most black people. A couple of young girls in class laughed. I'm not sure if it was a nervous laugh but it definitely wasn't appropriate. After the video another girl had the audacity to ask why the video didn't show black people hating whites? I cringed at the question. I left the room upset, shaking from anger and not encouraged that today's youth still don't seem to get it.

Required Post 11-old lady

2004-09-22T10:33:00.000-04:00

Sitting at a traffic light on center street yesterday, I saw an old woman standing on her balcony smoking. Center street isn't the most desirable area of Bangor. There are always "colorful" characters roaming around. This woman stood out. Thin, frail and disheveled she looked pathetic standing there all alone. I wondered if she was alone. Does she have family? Is she living paycheck to paycheck? More importantly is she happy? Why did it matter to me? For those few brief moments I imagined my final days. Personally, I wouldn't feel happy about living in such conditions but maybe she was. Maybe this was the only life she knew and she was comfortable living it. Driving away, I could only hope so.

5 paragraph Intro #1

2004-09-22T08:41:00.000-04:00

Required Post 10-Something good

2004-09-21T14:40:00.000-04:00

I taught my niece at the early age of two to answer one very simple question. "Is it more important to be pretty or smart"? "It's more important to be smart Auntie Dar"! (It's a given with us that kindness comes first). Bailey is seven now and still gives the same answer. If I could have one influence in her life, I'd want her to see the importance of believing in herself for the right reasons. Her mother lives in the land of Dooney Bourke, Calvin Klein and other material things she can't afford. I see this need creeping into Bailey. It makes me sad.

Today I get to do something good. It may sound like a contradiction to what I just typed but it's a little different. I am taking an amazingly beautiful, young lady to have her portfolio made. Why the emphasis on beauty? She is fifteen and extremely depressed. What is important to fifteen year old girls at this age? Looks, boys and looks. I was asked by her mother to be her big sister. She is a troubled young lady in need of some serious help. She sees a counselor but has taken to me. If I can start with the outside, I have a pretty good chance of building the inside. Confidence should come from within but miracles don't happen overnight. In this case, doing something now could make all the difference.

Required Post 9-Fairytales

2004-09-21T10:06:00.000-04:00

What fairytale fashioned together sunshine and happiness? I feel guilty if I'm not running barefoot in a field when it's sunny. I'm mean, grumpy and fresh out of smiles and it's only 10:15am. Not the best time to blog!

Required Post 8-Not ready

2004-09-20T09:55:00.000-04:00

I normally jump up two seconds after the alarm goes off. There's no hesitation. I have things to do. I get them done! Not this morning. This morning my foot weighed a ton. I hesitated to open my eyes and see the sun, a reminder there is a day to live. I did it anyway. Here I am in English class no longer hesitating but wishing I could.

Reaction Post-5 paragraph essays

2004-09-20T09:07:00.000-04:00

I had a chance to read a few of the essays. I didn't realize the tomato essay was yours. At the risk of sounding like I'm trying to score some points (not that it would work) , the first paragraph did capture my attention. If you replaced the tomato with a strawberry, your description of the first bite would be similar to the feeling I had the first berry I picked in my grandparents strawberry fields. One of the times dirt doesn't seem to matter. Blow a little dust off the top and pop it in your mouth! I wonder if kids in this day and age can truly appreciate the little things?

I also enjoyed the pie and chicken essays.

Required Post 7-Darkness Darkness

2004-09-18T20:12:00.000-04:00

Darkness darkness be my pillow. Take my head and let me sleep in the coolness of your shadow, in the silence of your deep. Darkness darkness hide my yearning for the things I cannot see. Keep my mind from constant turning to the things I cannot be. Darkness darkness be my blanket. Cover me with this endless night. Take away ohhh this pain of knowing, fill this emptiness with light. Emptiness with light now. Darkness darkness long and lonesome is the day that brings me here. I have found the edge of sadness. I have known the grips of fear.

Jesse Colin Young wrote these lyrics...to those of you who didn't already know. I'm listening to Robert Plant sing it while sprawled out on the bed with Marcus. Doug just plopped down.(Marcus is the dog:) Anyway, I first thought the song referred to suicide but I'm leaning toward the simple need of a little peace.

I listened to Fleetwood Mac, CCR and Dan Folgeberg when it wasn't the "in music". I got turned onto Fleetwood Mac babysitting at the age of 12. I was looking for some music to play but the family I sat for didn't have Sean Cassidy or the Bay City Rollers. They had a lot of "grown up music". Each time I babysat, I'd put on another unfamiliar record. Needless to say, Sean Cassidy was "kicked to the curb". I was hooked!

My peace has always been in music. I spent many nights lying on the bed in the dark, Fleetwood Mac blasting in the background..."You can go your own waayyy"...There was never a doubt I wouldn't.

Required Post 6-Those #$%@ drivers!

2004-09-17T09:58:00.000-04:00

Isn't it great when you wake up from an unbelievable dream smiling, wishing you could somehow go back and finish it. The dog jumps on the bed the second you coo his name happy you're finally awake. The smell of coffee is thick in the air. What could possibly change the way you feel?

What could set a person off faster than an ignorant, stupid ass driver? (Today I'm not one of those drivers so allow me the beauty of my bitching.) Within minutes of leaving my house, the calm serenity of my morning was quickly replaced with the unbeatable hell of road rage. Driving to school I was forced into the breakdown lane because some idiot in a shirt and tie (most likely a drug rep), with a cellphone in one hand and a coffee in another, didn't realize he couldn't turn a two thousand pound vehicle with his belly button. Adrenaline in high gear, I ignored the angel on my shoulder and set the bird free! Feeling only slight relief, I continued on.

My friends and family would consider me a pretty calm person but there's something about inconsiderate drivers that irritates me to the point of no return. The minute I get behind the wheel of my car, the defenses are up, my vocabulary takes on a different color and the finger is primed. It's Sybil in a Saab!

Person Assignment

2004-09-15T14:04:00.000-04:00

Did you ever wish you could make someone disappear? Remember the grandmother in Little Red Riding Hood. She had that soft, sweet, fragile voice. "The better to see you with my pretty". That's right, it was the big bad wolf. It was also my grandmother.

My grandmother wasn't the type to bake cookies. She would rather bitch about the cost of them. She didn't comfort you when you fell. Instead, she yelled because you got your clothes dirty. "You will sit at that table until you finish your meatloaf". One hour later and still at the table, it occurred to me to hide the hamburger in my socks until I could get rid of it without her knowing. "Your grandfather is a horses ass". " If he were drowning, I'd give him a drink of water". "Don't ever mention his name in front of me". These were some of the nicer things about my grandmother.

It took an excruciating fifteen years of her endless negativity before I got my wish. I told her my grandfather was an amazing man who was smart enough to realize there was more to life than her endless supply of misery. "I may have been born your granddaughter but blood runs through my veins not venom"! Funny...that was the last time I ever saw her.

Required Post 5-A moment

2004-09-13T10:22:00.000-04:00

I was standing in line at T-mobile the other day and I heard a woman yelling at her kids. "Come back here or I'll paddle your sorry little ass". "If you don't stop right now, I'm going to kill you". Everyone in the store stopped what they were doing and turned to look at the woman. It was obvious all attention was on her but she never let up. "I'll ring your neck". I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt. She was probably a single mother who, based on her appearance, was struggling to make ends meet. She was just frustrated. That's what I told myself but I couldn' t help shake the uneasy feeling I had watching the little girls run away from her. They seemed truly scared. Walking back to the car I reflected briefly on what I saw. It's painfully obvious how big this world is when I can go home and fall asleep worrying about my next quiz at the same time a little child is being hurt.

Thing Assignment

2004-09-13T09:06:00.000-04:00

When I was a little girl, I had a bedtime ritual. I took all of my stuffed animals and surrounded my bed with them. Mousy was the only stuffed animal I clung to while sleeping. He had big floppy ears, a pink nose, plastic whiskers, a long tail and a tuft of fur on his belly button. I'm not sure why I became so attached to that cheap stuffed mouse. He was the least attractive of all my animals. For whatever reason, I couldn't sleep without him. Maybe it was the calm I felt twisting his belly fur when my parents were mad at each other or the moment the lights went out and I felt the comfort of his nose against mine. His whiskers took the brundt of my insecurities. Whenever I became nervous, I chewed them. I didn't stop sleeping with that mouse until I moved away from home. I no longer have a bedtime ritual but I still have Mousy. He sits on top of my sewing machine with a few less tufts of hair on his belly and only a couple of whiskers.

Required Post 4-music

2004-09-12T08:51:00.000-04:00

I learned to play my first song on the guitar! Doug sat patiently and taught me each cord. It's a pretty rough interpretation of the actual song but not too bad for a beginner. It's called Saxuality. My version is called sucksuality...at least for now.

Another beautiful day. I have a couple of exams this week so I'll enjoy the day with my face buried in a book out on the deck.

Required Post 3-Quitting Time

2004-09-10T17:08:00.000-04:00

It's just after five o'clock. I'm heading home to sit with my friends Absolute and Tonic. It's a brief visit but Oh so worth it!

Marcus just put his head on my lap. It's his way of telling me it's time to go home. Like I need reminding. What a week!

Uniqueness Assignment

2004-09-10T11:17:00.000-04:00

I moved out of my house when I was sixteen years old. I wasn't your typical runaway. I didn't leave because of curfews or discipline of any kind. I would have welcomed that. I didn't like the choices my mother was making in her life and I was tired of how they affected me.

I didn't become a drug addict and sleep under a bridge. I became a nanny. I moved in with a couple and their little boy David. I stayed in school and worked nights and weekends. After I graduated from highschool, I got an apartment, a new job and enrolled in college. That didn't last long. I became ehausted with my schedule. I lost a lot of weight and almost had to be hospitalized. I had to earn a living so I kept my job and quit college.

When I was 23, I packed my Toyota Tercel with 150,000 miles on it and drove from Maine to Tennessee. I got a job working switchboard at a hospital. It didn't pay much. There were times when I had only $5.00 to make it through the week. Four years later I moved back to Maine, worked my way into a management position at a hospital in Ellsworth, got married and built a house with my husband.

I was married five years. Soon after we divorced, I discovered my ex-husband fathered a child while we were still married. Her name is Marissa. My husband and I don't talk much but I developed a relationship with his daughter and I see her every so often. People seem shocked when they know this. She's a precious little girl who had the unfortunate circumstance of being born into a difficult situation.

Not long ago, I decided to sell everything I own (including my new home) and go back to college. I'm a thirty-six year old, happily divorced woman with no children. I don't have a bitter bone in my body. I don't feel like my life is over because I don't have a white picket fence, four children and a husband. I certainly don't blame my mother for the struggles I endured along the way. In fact, the only regret I have about my life is the reason I'm sitting here writing this paper. How lucky am I to be able to change it!

Required Post 2-Trees

2004-09-09T18:56:00.000-04:00

My boyfriend lives on Copeland Hill in Holden. If you've never been on Copeland Hill, you have no idea what you're missing. You can see the Appalachian trail, Katahdin, Sugarloaf, Squaw and all of Bangor. Yes, even Bangor looks nice from a distance. The first time I stood on his deck, I was overwhelmed with the scenery. The sunsets are breathtaking. How can a place so close to the city hold such beauty? How could I have lived here most of my life and not known it existed?

The neighbors are atypical. The house below him used to have a sheep farm but it was sold recently. There's a little girl behind him that has her own blueberry business. She sells them every summer. Then there's Pat. Pat is an 81 year old widow who Doug has know for 11 years. She lives across the street. She calls him periodically to invite him for homemade donuts. Her house has the old fashioned wood stove, slate sink and every wall is covered with pictures of her family.

It's rare to be coming or going when you don't see a dozen wild turkeys or momma deer and her two new fawns. The fields, apple trees and flower beds make it look like a scene from 'Walton's Mountain'. There's something special about this hill.

Sometimes when I drive down the hill, I feel kind of sad. I imagine the little girl growing up, Pat joining her husband and the deer being driven out because the new neighbors decided to chop down all the apple trees blocking their view. Why can't time stand still in some places...at least on Copeland Hill?

Inventory Assignment

2004-09-08T08:39:00.000-04:00

Makeup vanity to the right of my bed.

Framed picture of dogs (Duke and Hunter)
Picture of Great Grandparents dressed in church attire
Picture of best friend making obscene playdough sculptures
Alarm clock covered in dust
A ridiculously low phone bill
A full bottle of Sam's Club water
A gold bracelet
A book~The Inmates and The Asylum by Trudy Irene Scee
Phone
Remote control
Receipt from Victoria Secrets
receipt from Walmart
$2.35 (2 dollar bills, a quarter and a dime)

A sentimental person who appreciates the importance of family and friends. Apparently a dog lover hence the framed picture. She either doesn't stay at home much or she has a mental alarm clock. She doesn't dust. Her family, friends and significant other must live in state or she hates talking on the phone. Based on her walmart receipt and the fact that she isn't drinking Evian water, she's a cost conscious shopper. She watches TV in bed. There's a good chance she's not married or she wouldn't be shopping at Victoria Secrets...care to take a pole?

Required Post 1-STUFF!

2004-09-07T17:45:00.000-04:00

I found the inventory assignment difficult. I don't believe in keeping useless "stuff". Sure, I have little statues sitting on my mantle, keepsake boxes I received as gifts and a few odds and ends that collect dust but most of what I have in my home, I use. I'm not an insanely neat person yet I don't have clutter. I'm inquisitive and easily pre-occupied so I don't think clearly amongst it.

Several months ago, I went through a major change in my life. I ended a career I'd been unintentionally building for ten years. I spent the majority of my days unfulfilled. There were some great successes yet usually at a cost to someone else. I worked too much and enjoyed very little. I was burned out.

I took a long look at my life and the direction I was headed. In order for me to obtain some kind of balance between success and happiness, I needed to simplify my life. I sold most of what I owned (including my house). I kept what I needed to exist, cut up the credit cards and here I am!

Someone once said, "you can't change the direction of the wind but you can always adjust your sails." Is life simple now? In some ways but traffic, rude people, politics and bills still exist. Some things never change!

Blog Reaction

2004-09-07T17:26:00.000-04:00

I'm stunned by the magnitude of this website. I didn't anticipate the amount of Blogs there are to view. I definitely didn't expect to find a prisoners blog. I felt like I was in the twilight zone reading it. He talked of buying seven or eight candy bars and eating them in five days. He was disappointed he had two days without sweets. That is what he looks forward to!

The variety of people "blogging" amazes me. Needless to say, you have to visit quite a few nut sites to find those worth reading.

Course Reaction

2004-09-07T14:41:00.000-04:00

I find the assignments to be a nice break from homework. The topics aren't anything I would choose for myself but they certainly make me think in another direction.

I appreciate being treated like an adult. I have found a couple of professors who seem to think it is their responsibility to be my parent. Others teach straight text and that bores me to death.

I look forward to improving my grammar and hopefully learning different styles of writing.

Life can be pretty mundane if you don't take time to step outside common everyday thoughts. This class helps me do that.

Required post-NIGHT

2004-09-06T21:33:00.000-04:00

It's just after 9:30. I've been studying for a History test most of today. I jumped into bed thinking my day was almost over and I could give my mind a rest...Not quite! I realized that I hadn't posted anything today.

My boyfriend Doug plays guitar. He has seven guitars. "Why do you have seven guitars"?..."Because I don't have eight". He keeps it simple. I like that.

Marcus just jumped on the bed. He's an Australian shepherd. What an amazing animal. We name his toys and he knows each one. Recently I bought him a goldfish which I named Goldie (original). I told him who Goldie was twice and that was all it took.

I have two dogs of my own. Duke and Hunter. Hunter is a yellow lab. He weighs 85 pounds. Duke is a black lab. He weighs 105 pounds. I named him Duke because he was such a big puppy, he staggered like John Wayne when he walked.

I'm still not sure what I am going to do for an inventory assignment. I've been into simplifying my life this past year that I really don't have much cluttering any area of my house. Would my boyfriends house count?

I find it interesting that some people prefer to remain anonymous with their blogs. Are they dark writers? Are they closed to opinions? Do they lead such intersting lives they are afraid of being stocked?

That's my blog. Boring yet personal.

Doug's playing the guitar and I'm heading back to the idea I can rest my mind. Who am I kidding. I dream this crap!

Goodnight!

Worst Teacher Assignment

2004-09-03T08:55:00.000-04:00

She was all of five feet tall, slim with beady eyes and pursed lips. Ms. Nelms was a nun who for unknown reasons decided to hang up her habit and become a French teacher. Not a loud or intimidating person by stature yet she shared a similar skill to that of Linda Blair in the Exorcist. She could flip her head around with such intensity; it made the hair on your arms stand up.

French was not for the tongue tied or chronically shy. Since I was both it was obvious to her I wasn't going to be an easy student.

I didn't expect special treatment or never to speak any French in class. What I didn't expect were the long, uncomfortable stares when "bonjour" sounded like "bunjer" or the tap of her pencil on my desk when my tongue seemed caught somewhere between "je suis fatigue" and the bottom of her shoe.

There were a lot of things I, being a shy person dreaded about school but somehow the door to French class seemed like the entry to a torture chamber.

Should I blame her for contributing to my shortcomings? Probably not but I can't help wonder if giving up her habit wasn't so black and white.

Hands Assignment

2004-08-31T14:59:00.000-04:00

I was the typical tree climbing, ramp jumping tomboy growing up. Very little scared me. If a boy could do it then there was no reason I couldn't. Evidence of this belief carried into adulthood.

Below my left index finger is the notorious "Lizzie Borden" scar. A daily reminder that using a hatchet at four in the morning on a sadistically cold ice fishing trip wasn't as easy as it looked. Refusing to admit I dressed inappropriately for sub-zero weather, I resisted my feminine ability to whine and instead picked up the hatchet. Unfortunately, two swings later I had only one sliver of kindling and a severed tendon.

There's very little that's feminine about my hands. Somehow, stacking wood, shoveling snow, and pushing weights around in the gym keep them from maintaining that soft manicured look. I suppose I could grow up and realize that I'm no longer a tomboy but I'm not ready to admit I can't do what the "boys" can besides, I still have ten fingers!